7 Things You Should Never Say to the Wife of a Pornography Addict

Since my husband’s pornography addiction has reared its’ ugly head again, I have reached out to others for encouragement because this is something you do not want to face alone. Well, not all the encouragement has been positive or even nice.  Some people, even Christians, just don’t know how to comfort someone who is facing this problem. Well, to start here are some things not to say. Yes, these things have been said to me by Christians and non-Christians alike.

7-Things-You-Should-Never-Say-to-the-Wife-of-a-Pornography-Addict

 7 Things You Should Never Say to the Wife of a Pornography Addict

  1. At least he is not physically sleeping with someone else. Yes, my husband didn’t physically sleep with someone else. Pornography is a heart issue. According to the Matthew 5:28, “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” In God’s eyes and in a wife’s, a person looking at pornography has committed adultery. My husband lusted after other women.
  2. Maybe you should make more effort in bed with him. My husband’s addiction happened way before I met him. I have no part in his addiction. Saying anything to this effect alludes that I have part of the blame in my husband’s addiction. You wouldn’t say, you should make better tea to a wife whose husband has a drinking problem.
  3. Maybe you should pay more attention to your appearance. My husband is attracted to me. Pornography is not about sexual attraction. Pornography addiction is about a chemical reaction and sin nature. During sexual process, the brain begins narrowing its focus as it releases a tidal wave of endorphins and other neurochemicals like dopamine, norepinephrine, oxytocin and serotonin. These “natural drugs” produce a tremendous rush or high. When they are released during pornography use and other sexual addiction behaviors, we call them “the fearsome four” due to the severe addiction and many negative consequences they produce in the brain and nervous system(source). A porn addict is after the high, not the attractiveness of the person.
  4. Divorce is never the answer. Actually according to the Bible, adultery is grounds for divorce. Jesus said, “And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery,” (Matt. 19:9). The word in Greek for immorality is porneia from which we get the word pornography.  Sexual immorality, i.e., adultery, is a grounds for divorce according to Jesus. (source) I am not saying divorce is the answer all the time, but if a husband refuses to acknowledge his sin then maybe it should be considered. I am excited that my husband is acknowledging his sin, getting biblical counseling, and working through his addiction. Just like God can give grace, so can a wife offer grace and forgiveness. [Read more…]
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Dial Miracle Marula Oil Body Wash

Disclaimer: I received a free bottle of Dial Marula Oil Body Wash from Purex Insiders. No other compensation was received. All opinions are my own.

Dial Miracle Marula Oil Body Wash

I was so excited to try out Dial Miracle Marula Oil Body Wash! I had tried their coconut oil one and fell in love with it. I got in the shower and lathered my loofah and realized I could not handle the beautiful scent. I love the scent, but my sinuses did not. I left the bottle in the shower wondering who I could get to try it. A couple days later I took it out of the shower to clean and didn’t put it back. My husband was in the shower the next day and asked where it was. He had been using it and was loving it! So this review is possible because of my husband.

He loves it and doesn’t consider it a girly scent. He likes how it makes him feel. It is not oily and leaves him feeling clean all day.

If you are like me you are probably wondering what Marula Oil is.

Marula oil — harvested in South Africa from the nut inside the marula fruit — plays nicely with your skin, healing and hydrating it without clogging or irritating it. It contains a high amount of antioxidants and essential fatty acids like omegas-6 and -9, which do a ton: They protect your skin from environmental aggressors (sun, pollution, wind, etc.) that can cause premature aging, and they absorb deeper and more easily into your skin, since the molecules are much smaller than traditional hydrating oils. (Traditional, thicker oils will sit on top and just lock existing moisture in.) (Source: Cosmo)

Dial also has a matching hand soap!

Would you like to try Dial Marula Oil Body Wash for yourself! Purex Insiders has given me 2 free product coupons to giveaway on the blog. Just enter below. Giveaway ends 3/26/15. US only.

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Heartbreak and God’s Grace

gods-grace

Last Tuesday started like any other. My husband came home from his first job. We enjoyed some time together. Then he left for his second job. An hour later I heard a phone go off and realized he left his phone at home. I checked the notification and my heart sank. He was emailing women and had started an account on an adult hook-up website.

Still six days later and I am still in a state of shock. I knew my husband battled a pornography addiction. I never thought it would progress to the next level. He was seeking out more.

We fought. I cried. He tried defending himself.

I opened my Bible and 2 Corinthians jumped out at me. Paul is talking about his thorn of the flesh. He says,  “ Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.  That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” (2 Corinthians 12:8-10)

I was in a hardship. I felt weak. I have learned in the last 6 days that God’s grace is sufficient for me.  [Read more…]

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