A Great Birthday and It is not the Mouse’s Fault!

Posted on April 23, 2013 by April

My birthday was last week and we went to Disney! I also love my Disney days, even though we don’t always go to the parks. We started off my birthday by parking at the Animal Kingdom Lodge because we were having my birthday dinner there and thought it would be easier parking there then parking in DtD. We went inside to drop off some of the best cupcakes in the world (Sugar Darling’s) and get me an I’m Celebrating button for my birthday. I was given a rose and while we were pin trading I was given an extra pin!

After we pin traded there we went to Downtown Disney and pin traded. We got some really cool pins but didn’t stay long because someone told us that King Pin was going to be at the AKL and he is great to trade with. We got there and barely made the time he was there. He also allowed me an extra trade because of my birthday!

We had dinner around 5 at Boma’s, I stepped out of my usual comfort zone and tried lots of new foods there. It is an African restaurant The best thing was the Zebra Domes.

After the dinner I got a special plate of chocolates just for me. Vier means to celebrate!

We spent the next day pin trading and partying in Downtown Disney. I danced and had so much fun!

The following day we traded a little more in Downtown Disney and when we got back to our car we found out we were robbed. Someone broke into our van through the back window and stole our laptop and all the pins we had in our pin book. I was one sad little Disney fan. I am trying not to lose my love for Downtown Disney, it was not their fault but rather some heartless punk!

So I am on the hunt for a new laptop with zero funds. Fun, right?!?!

4 Days until my Birthday!

Posted on April 12, 2013 by April

I have to admit I get a little giddy when it comes to my upcoming birthdays. I hate getting older, especially with not having a baby but I make up for it with a great birthday celebration. This year we are spending a few days in Orlando, having dinner at Boma at Disney’s Animal Kingdom Lodge, and pin trading. I am so excited! I have never been to Boma and haven’t been much of a food adventurer so I am going outside my comfort zone for this meal.

In other news, my foster mom did not get custody of my sister’s kids. She is upset about it; I had my concerns about her raising them because of her health.

For King and Country performed this year at Chasco. I got the idea to go and then during the first song broke down crying. I feel so let down by God. I am not believing his love for me. Gordon and I had a good talk and watched a little of the Indian dancing instead of the concert.

I had my first official couponing class at the Oasis Coffee Spot. Only 3 people showed up. Rather discouraging.

About Faith N’ Pixie Dust

Posted on April 12, 2013 by April

Hi! I am sorry I am a late comer. I was just going to introduce my couponing blog and then realized maybe some great Christian friends is what I need. I am happily married but sort of in a depression right now. I have been struggling with infertility for 7+ years, With the recent murder of my sister and best friend I have been really down and haven’t been able to go to church without crying or even listen to Christian music. Ok, so other than the sad stuff, here are some random things about me:

1. My favorite hot drink is hot cocoa.

2. I do not like chocolate cake, chocolate cake, but love chocolate.

3. I LOVE Disney. That is a part of this blog and my couponing blog.

3. I grew up in Michigan.

4. I live in Florida,

5. Up until last year I taught school in a small Christian school or had my own in home daycare.

Thank you so much for dropping by!

An Odd Easter

Posted on March 31, 2013 by April

I guess I have been doing a whole lot of complaining these last few months, and maybe some growing too. I haven’t been to church since hearing of Jeanette’s death. I am not at church this morning and I guess I feel odd about it. I still love God, but I guess I feel let down by him. I am not sure how to get out of this feeling. I want my life to be fulfilling even without children right now. I keep waiting to live until I adopt/have kids whatever. What I really want to is to be happy and fulfilled now. I want to feel as if my life is complete even without children.

I am growing a successful (on its way to be) couponing blog. I have an intense love for Disney that I want to develop professionally either as a blogger or travel agent. Gordon just bought me a clarinet so I can get back into music. Though I think part of his plan was to get me back into church via the orchestra. I have a husband who loves me and even though we have our troubles, I think my marriage is strong. Why can’t I be happy with all that I have instead of yearning and being depressed about what I don’t have.

Jeanette was happy just being herself. She usually didn’t even have a boyfriend.

I am having fun with the clarinet. I am slowly but surely getting my ability back. I didn’t play much as a teen so hopefully I can grow and become quite a clarinet player. I am trying to practice everyday.

Faith is a Discipline

Posted on January 17, 2013 by April

I am still struggling with my faith. I don’t feel God’s presence in my life. I see a God that doesn’t really care for His children.

I called my mom because she always knows what to say and somehow even her words left me feeling empty. She said faith is a choice. We have to choose to see the blessings of God in our life. See, I don’t see how she still has her faith. She prayed for her children for 9 years and then God allows someone to murder one of them. How is that fair? How is that God taking care of his children. Mom loved Lee-Ann, and now Mom is all alone in Michigan. How is that fair? She says it is a choice and she chooses to stay close to God and that is normal to sometimes doubt, but we can’t stay there or Satan wins.

doubt

Where has God been in my life? I was abused as a child and now my husband has anger issues and pornography addiction (though both are improving) and now I don’t get a child either. How is that fair? How is God on my side?

I am sure this will pass, but right now I am not sure how God loves me, if He even exists.

Biggest Loser Episode 1

Posted on January 7, 2013 by April

I wasn’t able to walk on the treadmill like I wanted too during the show because of not feeling so great. Actually I was feeling a little better but my Hubby was taking such good care of me, I wanted to milk that for a little bit more. I love him so much!

I love watching the Biggest Loser. That show really motivates me. I mean if they can workout for 6 hours a day, I can surely do 30 minutes. I love getting the health tips and trainer tips. I do hate when they pimp processed products though. Natural is best!

I was so excited to see Jillian back on the show and I am glad that they have 3 teenagers to help transform their lives. I was a chubby teen and I probably could have benefited from someone taking the time to counsel me. I battled with bulimia a little bit and sometimes I still do.

I haven’t picked my favorite yet. They didn’t tell all the back stories yet, so I am not sure who I want to win or who I think has it to win. I am disappointed in Nikki. Thousands of people would love to be on the show and she just walks off. I understand the process of weight loss can be emotional. I mean changing your eating habits is hard and you have to deal with what is making you overeat. Nikki must have watched the show before and must of had some clue that weight loss is not only physical. I feel bad for Jillian. That is not the best way to start the show again. Also for the white team to lose the weigh in. I feel so bad for Jillian. I think though it is because she is not the black team. I understand the whole challenge American and the red, white, and blue but come on it is Jillian!

Tonight is the 2nd episode. I won’t be able to watch it live, but I will get to watch it Tuesday evening.

Since the January 1st I have lost a total of 8 lbs!!

Do you have your favorite contestant yet?

Metformin Sick Stomach

Posted on January 6, 2013 by April

Last night I increased Metformin dosage back up to my recommended 2,000 mg. I woke up this morning bloated and sick. My stomach hurts so much today. I have thrown up a few times and have to run to the toilet a few times an hour. I am glad this only lasts a couple of weeks.

I just ate my first meal and it it already 3:00. Hopefully I feel better tonight. I want to walk on the treadmill while watching Biggest Loser. I am so excited Jillian Micheals is back! She is my favorite trainer. Sometimes you just need someone to give it to you straight.

Day 3 of cycle!

Reflection: What do I want said about me?

Posted on January 4, 2013 by April

I found out about another loss in my life. My foster sister Lee-Ann died this past week. Lee-Ann was my foster mom’s biological daughter. She was a couple years older than me. After I left the home I didn’t connect with her much as she stayed in Michigan. She married the same year I did and she has 2 beautiful children that are now without a mother to raise them. The death was not a good thing and there are actually cops involved. I can’t say too much because about that. Just pray for the family.

I reconnected with Tom my foster mom’s other biological child a couple of weeks ago. I thanked him for allowing his mom to open their home up to me. Their home made a world of difference in my life, and still does to this day. I was never able to tell Lee-Ann this.

Lee-Ann was quiet growing up and from what I could tell was not that social at school. She loved the Lord and always had a smile on her face! She was a Cottonwood Clogger and it was because of her I that joined as well. She encouraged me to join and showed me that I could do it. I was able to enjoy 2 years of dancing because of her before I left for college. Lee-Ann loved music and though I never shared with her, a lot of her favorites were my own. Every time I watch Footloose I think of her. I wish I could have known her as an adult, I think we would of been great friends.

Now with both Jeanette and Lee-Ann passing, it has got me to thinking deeply. I read their obituaries and everybody says such powerfully sweet things about them.What would people say about me? I talked to my husband about this and he said, of course you impacted this world, you taught for 10 years. But I am wondering if I influenced the world outside of the classroom. Do people know I love the Lord? The way I see myself is different than other people perceive me I guess. I see myself always faltering in my faith. I see myself as someone who fails other often. I see myself as a wife that never seems to have it together. I see myself as a wife who can’t produce a baby for my husband.

In all honesty since Jeanette’s passing I have struggled with my faith. I still believe in God, but I guess I am having a hard time believing he is there for us. I mean Jeanette died thinking she had no friends, I now have no close friends who I can call on or hang out with, Lee-Ann died and left behind 2 sweet kids who my foster mom will never get to see again, I am unable to be a mommy (which is all I ever wanted to be), and my marriage is good but not great by any means. My husband struggles with pornography addiction and anger issues and that is tough to handle. I had a tough first 30 years with God by my side, why can’t I have some blessings too? I guess I am sick of being Paul.

In other news,I restarted my healthy lifestyle. Since the 1st I have lost 8 lbs. Mainly water weight bit I am still happy with that. I am walking everyday. If you are walking everyday or at least 3 times a week please enter my monthly challenge at Pixie Dust Savings. You have the chance of winning a $25 Disney gift card.

I have lost a friend

Posted on December 25, 2012 by April

My friend Jeanette died Sunday. This is very hard for me. Jeanette is the friend I talked about in this post. I found out about her death yesterday afternoon. She died because of a seizure. She died because no one could give her the help she needed. She died because someone coddled her instead of helping her. She needed medical help. She needed SSI and medicaid. She needed to realize she had a problem. I feel horrible because I could not help her. Her family could not help her. And then to make things worse the person who she was living with wrote this on her Facebook wall “No offence, but its really sad that it took Jeanette’s literal death to bring out all these nice warm feelings and loving concerns, I’d bet, she’d wish she would have love to have heard them all when she was alive. Poor thing was seriously depressed. She didn’t know where to go and was pushed out by almost everyone,Yeah she had her stubbornness, but her options were either to go to a shelter or 1200 miles away. May God have mercy on us for not helping to our ability. God knows who helped and he knows those who followed orders. May we never overlook another soul, ever again. Praise God she is in the hands of Jesus and she is free from this body of death. No more seizures, school bills, Identity theft, Ex-fiancee issues, uncertainty of friends or wondering where to go next. She’s with Jesus the Savior and redeemer who taught us how to love” He didn’t help her get the real help she needed and now he is blaming those who truly cared for her but were unable to help her. I am trying not to focus on all the drama of her last year, but it hard when someone posts something like that. So I want to remember the times and memories I had with Jeanette.

I met her in college, we went to Tennessee Temple University. She was one of the first people I met and very friendly. She was an education major and had a huge love for children. I don’t think we hung out all the much in college but we were floor mates the first year and I think we were in the same prayer group for a awhile.

After she graduated college she went and moved in with her Grandma Peach in Florida. Since I didn’t have anywhere to go, her Grandma let me stay with her too.I remember when we were living with her Grandma we took part in a talent show at First Baptist Zhills. We did a sign language presentation for the song “God so loved” by Jackie Valesquez. We had a lot of fun practicing that. The neighborhood behind her Grandma’s house would go all out for Christmas and we would always take walks to see that. Her parents and brother would come for Christmas and would go look at lights. We would sit in the back of her Grandmas truck and use the walkie talkies to talk to her parents in the front. It was fun!

Jeanette and I planned on getting an apartment in NY but that didn’t work out and we got an apartment in New Port Richey. The apartments we lived was called Mallory Square, it has since been renamed. We had an apple themed kitchen, and Jeanette always got the cutest accessories. She did her bedroom in a nature theme and her bathroom in butterflies. Oh, and she loved Tinkerbell and Peter Pan.

I remember our Christmases together most. Her parents came down for a few weeks every Christmas. Jeanette and I would always wear matching outfits. Her Dad would get us both stockings and we would open them together. I would make a ham or turkey and we would enjoy a fun day.

Jeanette and I went to Disney once together. It was a blast It my first real visit to the Mouse. It was a spur of the moment trip and it was at Christmas time so we got to see Epcot all dressed up!

Jeanette was my maid of honor at my wedding. She helped make my day so special. I am sad that she never found her Prince, but she was happy just having Jesus as her husband. She would have made a wonderful wife and mother before the seizures. She was even engaged to be married.

One of my last memories with Jeanette happened just 2 summers ago. We took a talking tour of Tampa. My husband came along so the 3 of use toured downtown Tampa. We ate lunch at Subway and took so many pictures. We ended the day cooling off at the “water park”!

I will miss you Jeanette and I am truly sorry the last few months were very rough on you, but you are in Jesus’ arms now. I love you and will always remember the good times the most.

Christmas Eve Morning

Posted on December 24, 2012 by April

I got up early this morning to do some last minute baking before I have to put the ham in for dinner at my MIL’s house this afternoon. Gordon has to work this morning and I will be alone doing a lot of the prep. I got quite a bit done yesterday. I prepared the green bean casserole, the pot stickers, a batch of cookies, and chex mix..

I am liking this quiet time before Gordon wakes up and before I have to go to my MIL’s. I love her but the focus is not on Jesus during the holidays. It is on all the other stuff. Luckily, we get to go to Christmas Eve service but only because Gordon is playing in the orchestra. I got so annoyed at Thanksgiving when she kept on calling it Turkey day, I ended up saying something but it passed right over her.

Gordon and I are not exchanging gifts this year other than “thoughtful acts” because of money. I am kind of bummed. We don’t even get to take our day trip to downtown Disney. Both of Gordon’s jobs cut his hours this December and Gordon took off time to be part of the Singing Christmas Tree. Gordon is designing my website as my gift and I am making him Chinese on Christmas and a little love coupon book. I can’t have Chinese because of avoiding soy, so making it at home requires a lot of recreating recipes and such to make them safe for me.

I wonder what Mary was thinking the day before she gave birth. She was so young and a newlywed. She was having the Son of God. He was coming to save her, to redeem her. I can’t imagine my life without Jesus. I am thankful to Mary for accepting the job God gave her. I mean I don’t know if abortion was around back then (it probably was) but she didn’t choose that. She didn’t choose to give the baby away. She chose to keep the baby Jesus.

Please everyone, please don’t focus so much on the cradle that you forget the cross. There is not hope because Jesus was born but because he died and rose again. Jesus died for you! We can never be worthy enough to go to Heaven, Jesus took all our sins on himself. It was the greatest gift off all. I may not have the money to exchange real gifts this Christmas but I can rejoice that I have the best gift of all, eternal salvation!