Infertility and Adoption
Day 23: Does your religion (or lack of) help/hurt/affect your infertility journey? Have you found religion? Lost it? Does it affect what treatments you do?
I believe my faith helps my infertility journey on most days. I am sure a lot of Christians who have infertility have days where they blame God or get angry with Him. That is not a sin. I don’t always understand what God is doing, but I have peace that He does. Now that I look back on my life I realize why I went through some of the abuse I went through. This too shall pass. I pray daily that God will give me the strength to lose weight, the grace to go through this temporary trial, and the wisdom to know how far to go.
My faith does affect what treatments I go through. Even if I had the money I don’t think I would do IVF. It is not for me. Baby making to me is a personal, intimate process. I don’t think I could invite a doctor into the process. I understand people who choose that route though. God blesses every family a different way. I believe because of my past I would make an awesome foster mom. I feel led by God to that rather than use medical treatments. I am not even sure I would take Clomid, but I am not crossing that off the list either.It is just not a step I am wanting to take at this point.
Update 4/14/15: I have foster care orientation next month!
Were you the product of infertility? Was anyone you know the product of infertility? How do you know? Or do you just suspect based on circumstances like age differences between siblings, time between marriage and conception, etc.
I was not the product of infertility. My biological mother was very fertile. She had two kids before she was even 16. She had me when she was 32 though.
My foster siblings Leighann and Tom were products of infertility. They weren’t conceived with any type of drug or treatment though.I think it would kind of be nice to be the product of infertility though. You know your parents really wanted you. My biological parents may have not wanted me. I was conceived before wedding date, I think it was a quick wedding to make it look legit. I am not sure.
Have you ever bonded with someone IRL over infertility, even just for a few minutes? It could be a family member, friend, neighbor, or even the clerk at the grocery store who noticed your OPK and vitamin purchase. Tell the story. (IRL = in real life, source here)
I have bonded with my foster mom. She was unable to have kids for over 9 years after she got married. I really hate sharing with other people because their well-meaning advice usually is hurtful or stupid. I call my foster mom all the time and she prays with me and encourages me.
What tv show/movie/commercial/print ad has bothered you the most since you began trying to conceive? If possible, post it here. Tell us why it bothered you so much.
I would have to say the movie Courageous. I absolutely love the movie and so does my husband.
The movie is a Sherwood Film, they also produced Facing the Giants, Fireproof, and Flywheel. It is really a movie for Dads. The story line is about 4-5 men and their journey to better parenthood. One of the men loses his child in the movie and he is prompted to look in the Bible to find out what God expects out of fathers. I guess the movie is hard for me because I know my husband wants that courageous father in the movie. He will take those precious moments to enjoy every moment with his kids. I see the movie and every time cry because I am the reason he is not a father yet.
Tell us about a pre-ttc pregnancy “scare.” With your current partner, or with an ex.
My husband and I waited until marriage to have sex. Even though we both had been with people prior (we all make mistakes) we wanted to preserve sex for marriage so we started off on the right foot. I don’t judge people who choose to not save themselves for marriage because we each must choose our own path. I just see the benefits of waiting- more than just spiritual benefits.
I believe a sexual relationship is reserved for marriage. It is the way God designed it. I believe society we have today would be so much better if people saved themselves for marriage. Sex is so much more than physical, the longer I am married the better my sexual relationship gets because I am getting more and more connected mentally and spiritually with my husband. God is involved in our sexual relationship, not in a wrong type of way.
A couple verses about purity or reasons to wait:
Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body….You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body. (1 Corinthians 6:18, 20) I consider my body to belong to my husband. Proverbs 31 talks about a woman loving her husband all the days of her life. It doesn’t just say she loved him after she met him. Staying pure shows your spouse you love them even before you meet them.Before I met my husband I wrote love letters to my future husband and gave them to my husband shortly before the wedding.
Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is his good, pleasing and perfect will. (Romans 12:1-2) Just because everyone is doing it, doesn’t mean I have to.
But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away…. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell. (Jesus, Matthew 5:28-30)
What is your favorite infertility-related quote? It doesn’t have to be explicitly related to infertility, but one that means something to your personal journey.
I ran across this verse in my devotions one day and it blew me away. God has everything under control. I do what I need to do and God will do His part. God will make me a happy mother. Birth or adopted, I don’t know, but God says he will make me a happy mother of children.
Tell us your funniest Clomid/Femara/Injectables mood-swing story. If you don’t have one, tell us your funniest general infertility drug story.
Since I am not taking any fertility drugs, I don’t have a story so I will answer another random question.
15 Random Facts About Me
- I absolutely love the shows House, Grey’s Anatomy, The Big Bang Theory, and Mike & Molly. Other than those shows I don’t watch much TV.
- My cat and dog are named after mice on Cinderella- Jaq-Jaq and Gus-Gus.
- Most of my teen years I spent in foster care.
- I am a very picky eater; slowly I am growing out of that.
- I am addicted to chips and salsa.
- My favorite footwear is flip flops. I think it is the state shoe of Florida. LOL
- I love watching the sunset at the beach, though I hate the beach during the day because a couple years back I got stung by a sting ray.
- My favorite non-Disney movie is the Devil Wears Prada. I can watch that movie over and over.
- Sometimes I think I talk too much, sometimes I don’t talk enough. I reveal stuff too quickly to strangers. I am trying to work on that.
- I have an AA in psychology from Liberty University.
- There are so many arts and crafts I want to try but my husband would kill me if I spent more than I already do on my hobbies.
- I only wear makeup for special occasions. My husband likes me without it.
- My favorite Disney Movie is Cinderella.
- I taught at a Christian school for a long time, quit after a lot of ESE kids were accepted and I couldn’t handle the stress of that. I don’t think I ever want to go back to a classroom again.
- Jesus Christ is my Savior! Without Jesus, my life that was filled with abuse and neglect would have taken me over.
If you are not yet a parent: What are you MOST looking forward to about parenthood? If you are a parent: What is the most surprising thing about being a parent? If you have taken the childfree path: What is the most surprising part of living childfree after infertility?
I guess I am most looking forward to the small things like:
- Tummy time with baby
- Giving the baby a bath
- Waking up in the middle of the night just to make sure baby is ok and just watching them sleep, thanking God the whole time for this little miracle
- Reading books together
- Dancing around the living room singing kiddie songs
- Feeding time
- Changing diapers, yes even poopy ones as this is a bonding time and diapers only last so long.
- Seeing a first smile
- Watching my husband hold the baby and falling in love with him/her
- Sharing family traditions
I would say that there is not a whole lot I am not looking forward too. I want a baby so bad, I can’t see any bad in the occurrence of a baby.
Day 15:If you are not yet pregnant/a parent: What are you MOST and LEAST looking forward to after that first beta? If you are already pregnant/a parent: What was the most pleasant/unpleasant thing about pregnancy? If you have taken the childfree path: What pregnancy symptom are you happy to have avoided, and which one do you wish you’d experienced?
I am excited about feeling the baby flutter early in the pregnancy, and kick later on.
I am not that excited about being sick and aching.
Since I don’t know how my body will react to pregnancy, I don’t feel like I can really answer this.
IT Hubby or Not??
When I met my husband he was in college for computers, I thought that was good because of the money earning potential. Boy, were my hopes dashed when one career choice after another was made. My husband works at Wendy’s now. He actually works 2 jobs. He is supposed to be promoted to manager but it taking awhile, he used to be the GM of Popeye’s Chicken. Well, the other day I saw an IT ad on Craigslist and sent an email for my hubby. He has an interview next Tuesday. He kind of wants the job and he tells me he is excited. I just see all the great possibilities with this job,. My hubby is a technology genius. He fix any computer and build them too. He took a lot of courses in college for it. He only got hung up on Java which he failed 3 times. Please pray with me that he gets this job and that he finds he enjoys it.
If a very observant stranger were to walk into your house, what clues could lead them to believe that you have struggled with infertility?
One of the first things you would see as you step inside my small duplex is my bookshelf. On this bookshelf you would see “Taking Charge of Your Fertility”. I bought this book to help me know about basal body temping, how to check cervical mucus, and other things. It is a pretty helpful book if you don’t know how to do those things. I have a copy of “What to Expect When Your Expecting” too. On my night stand you will find my “Basal Digital Thermometer” In the kitchen you will see a box with all my meds & vitamins: Metformin, Labetelol, Folic Acid, B-Complex, Iron, Royal Jelly, Zinc, and baby aspirin.
But I would have to say the most obvious thing you would find in my home to point to infertility is the vacant room. We have some stuff stored in it, not too much. I fool myself into thinking that if everything is open for a baby then my ovaries when get into the game too. I have leftover things from my daycare I had in there. I have a pack n play, some toys, and children’s books from when I was a teacher. Even though it is just the two of us, I made my husband get a minivan as our vehicle. He wanted a truck. The idea of a truck was like he was giving up on me ever having a baby. I know he wasn’t thinking that…but my baby desire thoughts sometime over rule my logical side. He loves to drive trucks and that is all that it was.
My vacation is going well. I am enjoying time with my husband’s cousins. I wish he was here with me though. I miss him terribly. His cousin is a chef so I have been getting some really healthy meals that are delicious.