Heartbreak and God’s Grace


2c93b3579dfa6c7ca0ca085f210774f6Last Tuesday started like any other. My husband came home from his first job. We enjoyed some time together. Then he left for his second job. An hour later I heard a phone go off and realized he left his phone at home. I checked the notification and my heart sank. He was emailing women and had started an account on an adult hook-up website.

Still six days later and I am still in a state of shock. I knew my husband battled a pornography addiction. I never thought it would progress to the next level. He was seeking out more.

We fought. I cried. He tried defending himself.

I opened my Bible and 2 Corinthians jumped out at me. Paul is talking about his thorn of the flesh. He says,  “ Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.  That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” (2 Corinthians 12:8-10)

I was in a hardship. I felt weak. I have learned in the last 6 days that God’s grace is sufficient for me. Continue Reading

Praying for a Submissive Spirit

I am a pretty independent person. I guess that happens when your childhood points you in a direction where you learn that you can’t trust others around you. Part of me always tries to protect myself and not give up control. Sadly, I kind of run things in my house. I don’t want it to be that way. Growing up in church I know submission is part of having a godly marriage. Submission means trusting not only in your husband, but having trust in God. That is the point of submission- giving God control of your life.

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Ephesians 5:22-24

Giving up control is hard. Yet at the same time I think the stress is lessened because I am resting in the care of my husband and God. I need to feel secure. One of the longings discussed in Pulling Back the Shades is the longing to be protected by a man. That is part of the reason women flock to Christian Grey. He protects Anastasia by controlling everything that he can. He promises her that he will look out for her best interests. Continue Reading

My Husband’s Warrior: 10 Areas to Cover My Husband in Prayer

One of my goals for 2015 is to make my marriage better. One way I want to work on my marriage is to cover my husband in prayer. I want to pray for my husband in the following areas in his life. Knowing what to pray can be hard. Men and women are wired so differently. I have decided to concentrate on these areas in my husband’s life. Cover My Husband in Prayer


  1. His relationship with God. His relationship with God is more important than his relationship with me. I pray that my husband grows closer to God every day. Let him feel God’s love and guidance in every moment.
  2. His job and career. I do not understand my husband’s job and career. He goes to work every day and I am not part of that world. I pray that he is able to handle the stress and the demands of the job. I pray that he makes the rights connections and decisions when it come to promotions and job choices. Right now my husband is looking for a job in his field and his is also in school. May he have a clear mind to study and retain everything he learns so he can be the best paramedic there is. 1 Corinthians 15:58 “Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord”.Continue Reading