I am still struggling with my faith. I don’t feel God’s presence in my life. I see a God that doesn’t really care for His children.
I called my mom because she always knows what to say and somehow even her words left me feeling empty. She said faith is a choice. We have to choose to see the blessings of God in our life. See, I don’t see how she still has her faith. She prayed for her children for 9 years and then God allows someone to murder one of them. How is that fair? How is that God taking care of his children. Mom loved Lee-Ann, and now Mom is all alone in Michigan. How is that fair? She says it is a choice and she chooses to stay close to God and that is normal to sometimes doubt, but we can’t stay there or Satan wins.
Where has God been in my life? I was abused as a child and now my husband has anger issues and pornography addiction (though both are improving) and now I don’t get a child either. How is that fair? How is God on my side?
I am sure this will pass, but right now I am not sure how God loves me, if He even exists.