Broken- A Poem about Infertility

 

infertilityThis is a poem I wrote when I was feeling very depressed about my infertility. I think I wrote it sometime in 2008. It may not be a perfect poem in literary style but it is an outpouring of my heart. I still read it to comfort me when I am having a bad day.

Empty

Broken

Broken to be used

Empty to be filled

Still a woman

Without a womb

Still a wife without a child

God is still God

Without answered prayer

I am still used though I am broken

To not make a son

But to glorify the Son

Not to love one

But to show God’s love to many

Peace my soul

Peace my heart

Peace my womb

 

TTC Blog Challenge Day 18

Day 18:

Tell us about a pre-ttc pregnancy “scare.” With your current partner, or with an ex.
My husband and I waited until marriage to have sex.  Even though we both had been with people prior (we all make mistakes) we wanted to preserve sex for marriage so we started off on the right foot.  I don’t judge people who choose to not save themselves for marriage because we each must choose our own path. I just see the benefits of waiting- more than just spiritual benefits.
I believe a sexual relationship is reserved for marriage. It is the way God designed it. I believe society we have today would be so much better if people saved themselves for marriage. Sex is so much more than physical, the longer I am married the better my sexual relationship gets because I am getting more and more connected mentally and spiritually with my husband.  God is involved in our sexual relationship, not in a wrong type of way.
A couple verses about purity or reasons to wait:
                Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body….You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body. (1 Corinthians 6:18, 20)  I consider my body to belong to my husband. Proverbs 31 talks about a woman loving her husband all the days of her life. It doesn’t just say she loved him after she met him. Staying pure shows your spouse you love them even before you meet them.Before I met my husband I wrote love letters to my future husband and gave them to my husband shortly before the wedding.
Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is his good, pleasing and perfect will. (Romans 12:1-2) Just because everyone is doing it, doesn’t mean I have to.
But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away…. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell. (Jesus, Matthew 5:28-30)

TTC Blog Challenge Day 21- A Fertility Verse

Day 21:

What is your favorite infertility-related quote? It doesn’t have to be explicitly related to infertility, but one that means something to your personal journey.
 
I ran across this verse in my devotions one day and it blew me away. God has everything under control. I do what I need to do and God will do His part. God will make me a happy mother. Birth or adopted, I don’t know, but God says he will make me a happy mother of children.