Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Romans 12:15 Infertility is a thief. Infertility can steal your joy, not only your joy also that of your friends. It took me quite a few years to learn this lesson and I hope you can learn how to feel joy with your friends during their pregnancy and the joy of their child’s life. Coping with Your Friend’s Pregnancy During Infertility is important for you, for your friend, and your friendship.
I totally missed out on a lot of life’s moments where I should have celebrated the joyous occasion of a friend’s pregnancy. Not only did I miss rejoicing with them, but I lost out on the joy that babies and children are.
I hate to admit it but I have hidden a friend’s pregnancy announcement on Facebook, missed baby showers, and just overall have been an awful friend to my friends who have had babies. I feel sadness regarding my past selfishness. We are commanded to by God to rejoice with those who rejoice.
While it may be hard at first while you are dealing with and/or grieving your infertility the rewards are amazing. Reaching past your own heartbreak to be a friend to someone else is such a great feeling. True JOY is Jesus, Others, You.
Ways You Can Rejoice in Your Friend’s Pregnancy
While some of these tasks may be hard, start with the smaller ones and then over time, the harder tasks will seem easy. Helping out a friend during her pregnancy is a sign you are able to reach past yourself and be a great friend.
Congratulate Your Friend on their Pregnancy. When they announce their pregnancy write out a heartfelt congratulations. Be genuinely interested in their great news, and it is great news. If you are close enough. ask about their due date.
Pray for Your Friend. Pray for your friend to have a healthy pregnancy and for the baby to be healthy. You can be her biggest prayer warrior.
Attend the Shower. Celebrate with your friend, play silly games, enjoy the cake and fellowship. If you are close enough help plan it. Bring a gift for the new baby.
Help her Plan a Babymoon and or “Babyette” Party. Once the baby arrives it will be hard for her to get alone time with her husband and probably even harder to get a girls night. Plan a Girls Night “Babyette” party where you get together and get pedicures, manicures, see a movie, or just a relaxed dinner party at home. It will be very appreciated.
Send her Surprises. Send her some small gifts by mail. If she tells you she’s craving chocolate, mail her an order of homemade chocolate chip cookies. If she hasn’t been dealing well with morning sickness, send her some preggo-pops. Even a nice snail mail card will let her know you are thinking of her.
Ways You Can Enjoy Your Friend’s Babies & Children
Once the baby arrives you can be such a blessing to your friend. In your season of infertility, you can be a bigger blessing than someone that already has kids.
Offer to Babysit. Your friend and her husband might want to spend some alone time together.
Bring over some Freezer Meals. Having some meals your friend can just pop into the oven can be a huge help, especially in the beginning. If your friend is nursing you can also include some homemade lactation cookies.
Love on their Facebook & Instagram Posts. Your friend’s tiny bundle of joy is super adorable.
Be Understanding. While you may have hung out all the time, things are going to be a little different now and she might not have the time and/or energy especially in the beginning to make time for friends.
Coping with Your Friend’s Pregnancy During Infertility
I understand the pain of infertility all too well. For 15 years I have longed for a baby of my own and still do. When someone you know so well finds out their news, it does shake you. It can feel like your support network is shrinking. I don’t think that needs to be the case though. Feel your sadness. Cry and then be a friend.
Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Romans 12:15 I believe that if your friend is truly your friend then when you rejoice with her she can, in turn, weep with you. You don’t need to hide your feelings. Just like you can be excited for her, she can understand and sympathize with your feelings. Being a good friend is being there for each other.
Let’s discuss? What are some ways you have been there for a friend that is pregnant while dealing with your own fertility? Let me know in the comments.
Journaling is so therapeutic for coping with infertility, check out my infertility/TTC writing challenge.