Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand. Proverbs 19:21
Do you try to control things? Do you want things to go according to your plan? I have a big problem with that. I am pretty controlling and that is not a good thing. My husband deals with a very serious addiction. It affects our marriage. Ever since I found out about the problem, I have tried to fix it for him. I have begged him to get help. I have tried to get him to read books, watch movies, and go to addiction recovery groups. For almost 8 years I did this. I prayed to God that my husband would get rid of his addiction. The problem was I thought I was God’s answer. I was not trusting God, I was pridefully thinking I could make my husband stop.
So, what is this addiction my husband has? It is something that MANY churches don’t talk about. Nor do many churches have programs to help with this particular addiction. My husband is addicted to pornography. I thought I could fix it for my husband. I thought maybe if he knew he was hurting me with it, he could change. I thought my tears would stop the addiction. I thought my refusal of intimacy would stop it. I also tried the opposite, being available any time he wanted it. Nothing worked because I am not the answer. God is the answer!
God did recently start working in my husband’s life. I didn’t even start the conversation about getting help, my husband did. He now wants to get help. He joined a group and has surrendered his addiction to God. It hasn’t been easy for him. I am trying more now than ever just to shut up and let God lead. Part of me needs to see that God is powerful enough to help my husband. Some great things have started in my household that I am super excited about. My husband and I do devotions together now. He talks about and shares spiritual things with me now, and he has never done that before. I know his road to recovery is going to be long and hard, but now I am fully trusting in God to fix him and to fix me as well.
Do you have a hard time trusting God sometimes when you think you know the answer?
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